For 20 years, I have been curious about women in conflict. I have met women and girls in their homes, offices, prisons, refugee camps, and safe spaces to understand human emotion and what’s possible when women with second chances show courage to build connections. 

Female victims and victimizers of violence and war belong to a different universe that may seem disconnected and impossible for us to comprehend. Their emotions and experiences are real, even in the midst of struggle and shame, rage, resentment, vulnerability, despair, disgust, and a destructive anger. Their emotions drive their decisions.  

Their lives are messy and imperfect. Some women ask for help and struggle to heal and belong again. Others are on a deadly mission and determined, leaving no room for creating cultural or personal change. 

No matter where I go or who I meet, the message is the same: love and compassion is the way out of conflict and prolonged war. With love, change is possible. With compassion, growth is imaginable.  

My interest is the human spirit and how behavior influences our actions and choices. For years, I have tried to answer these questions: What compels someone to act violently while most are peaceful actors? What happens when change is introduced to a society or an individual? How can individuals and communities change to create purpose and lead productive lives?

Speaking to women of all ages and different backgrounds has given me a deep awareness of the psychological needs that regulate emotion and well-being: self-awareness, self-acceptance, self-worth, and self-love. Interacting with these women makes it clear that we all have a backstory and a history that shapes the present narrative. 

Even now, I choose to be curious and listen to women’s stories to feel human. Our need for connection comes through storytelling and reveals our shared humanity. Despite our struggles and sacrifices, we always want to belong. 

Below is a small sample of my interviews and lectures to different audiences that emphasize the mechanics of violence and global warfare. In my later years, I have moved away from the who-what-when-and-where explanations for violence and shifted to the why: the core motivation that creates chronic disconnection for women and a false sense of power. 

Why and how women change is a story worth telling.